Ep 6

Be Consistent And Never Live With Regret with Brenda B. Bailey

Brenda Bailey

Show notes

Katerina: Hi Brenda. […] How are you, great to have you on the show. Brenda, you are a very seasoned entrepreneur you’ve been doing it for 28 years. How did you start?

Brenda: Well I think I started because I felt like I didn’t have anything else to do, you know. It was at that point where I realised in my 20s that I was making money for everybody else and I was having just a really hard time finding a place where I felt comfortable. Yeah, so the beautiful thing is is that I have one sister who’s a little older… she’s two and a half years older than me and she said to me, just work for yourself. You can do this. And I believed her, so I did. So, I found… I started in trade show sales because I was, I had, you know, I was in sales so I’d started in trade show sales and was feeling the same way and I say this with love and I do mean it… But to be that young, it just felt like I was bumping my head up with middle-aged white males.

I mean, and, and that was with like supervisors, that was… owning the companies that I was working for. And it really just, you know, being a contractor was, you know, working for myself, but then I just decided I would rather just do it for myself. And so I started, you know, I just I’ve met so many people that I was able to have contractors work for me, and I just started booking, I just observed. I think that’s one of the biggest things that I can tell people is to either do an internship or have a mentor that’s doing something that you’re already doing so that you can ask questions or you can observe.

Katerina: Yeah. So what was the first company all about? What were you selling?

Brenda: We, we just got products, they were demonstration products and we would look at see what was popular on TV because this was before the Internet, which is why I didn’t do it any longer because the Internet came along, right? So you know the upside and the downside, but it’s not. It’s, pivoting, it’s going with the flow and seeing what’s you … what’s coming up. So we would just get products that were, you know, from importers, manufacturers, distributors. We would just look at something… I had, like, a pet hair remover, right, that was, I could put that into any show and it would do well because everybody has animals everybody struggles with hair and. And then we would look at things that were fun like blow pens that were like for kids and yeah they would look like an airbrush but it was self-powered right?

Yeah, it would just be different fun products like that depending on the time of the year. And that’s how we would come along and, again, I was doing shows, and I would be looking around and seeing what other products people had, you know, looking to find the course it wasn’t that easy back then because we didn’t have the Internet, I couldn’t just Google it. And so, but, um, you know I had contractors we did shows all over the US, because I’m in the United States and in Hawaii and Alaska, and we were just going you know with products and certain types of shows and what I really found was that I was more successful at the smaller shows at the ones that were more of a niche.

Katerina: Yeah

Brenda: I would look for a quilting show, I would look for a pet show versus doing these really big ones that have like a million, you know, entrepreneur, you know, a million booths in it that were you know people had too many places to spend their money. It was easier to do when that was a product that was kind of in that genre but not. And people would just buy it and then also just customising it and showing people how it was relevant to what they were doing.

Katerina: Yeah, so, was it a successful business?

Brenda: It was seven figures. Believe it or not, but you know people always like I can’t believe but you know, we worked a lot… we did… you know we, but I want to say we worked a lot, but pretty much I got it down to six months out of the year, because there are three really active months in trade shows and then there was like, you’d have to do like really long shows and that just wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. And I didn’t like being outdoors or anything like that so it was when they were ones inside.

Katerina: Yeah, and then you decided to go with your passion?

Brenda: The thing is… because I started probably a year before… I started working in trade show sales. Yeah, I really started working on myself as well. And looking at you know my happiness and you know why I did some of the things that I did, because as entrepreneurs we are our business now at that time I didn’t realise that what I was doing, would affect how I was in my career, right and my business, but because I was young, but it was just a matter of, I just kept taking courses, doing training, doing retreats. And then I came across a modality that just really just changed my life, more than any of them. And I thought I wanted to be an acupuncturist because I really loved acupuncture. I even went back to school and took… I didn’t have to take chemistry or anatomy and physiology in my undergraduate degree. So I went back in my 40s to school and took those classes.

So I was within the school with kids that were old enough to be my kids, right. And, um, and then just decided when I came across Theta healing, which is the most my primary modality because I have 13 different certifications and integrative healing. That was the one that I just went to because when I did trade shows, I almost felt like I was selling my soul to make that money. And I knew that I wasn’t making a difference in people’s lives. And I really wanted to do that so I thought it was acupuncture, and then it became a Theta healing and yeah that’s what I decided to do.

Katerina: Yeah, so are you happy personnel because of this?

Brenda: Yes. You know, I think.. even in the, even in the quarantine. I’m a happy person. I started that sales company during probably one of the worst recessions that we had. And this is the thing. It’s possible to make money, anytime. Now again, we don’t want to be like hoarding as I say we don’t want to be hoarding, you know, hand sanitiser you know in our garages and looking to sell it you know at three times the price or whatever those guys were doing.

Katerina: Yeah, That’s crazy.

Brenda: Yeah, but it’s… it’s, you know, people are needing support, and people are in pain, and people are anxious and they’re, and they have fear, and that’s when it’s like I can help people with that. So, and I’m not because I trust I have great faith. And I know… you know having done this company right which now I’ve rebranded into Shatter Your Income Ceiling. What I’ve realised is, is that things often, especially as an entrepreneur you’ll look at things you’ll see bumps and it won’t look good. It will look hopeless it will look not good, but the deal is is that I’ve done it enough after 28 years and I’m going to tell you, the sun always comes up, things are always bigger and better as long as we stay focused… as long as we stay with what we want to be doing and knowing what we’re doing.

So, luckily, I’d already transitioned. Most of my sessions and clients virtually through Zoom. So it’s like things still keep going on. And yes, there are a lot of people who are out of work and I pray for them every day you know I hope that this you know here in the US with stimulus check that they’re going to qualify for it. We know that unemployment right now is way bogged down, but it’s like those people there are free resources for them and then there are people who are at home working with their kids and they can’t go to school, that they’re needing extra support as well. And they can’t afford it.

Katerina: So, in 2006 you dissolved your sales company, right?

Brenda: Yes.

Katerina: And you followed your heart, and became a ThetaHealing master. How is this related to what you’ve just been saying about Shatter Your Income Ceiling programme?

Brenda: ThetaHealing, so people can tell me how they think and how they feel and what you create in your life that’s what you believe. Most of the information out there tells you just change how you think and you’ll change your beliefs. You can’t do that… there are many roads, right, that take us where we need to go right. So it’s not like… there are missed opportunities and I’ve chosen the wrong road, it’s like… you may have if they’ve gotten a little crooked but you could get back on course. But you know that’s the thing is that so many things out there, take a long time and they, and people give up like it’s like there’s not one more thing that I can do so what data healing does is it changes beliefs, traumas, non-forgiveness at a cellular level, and it’s just as if it’s always been it bypasses the conscious and the subconscious mind. And so people just start doing what they needed to do, they start… they don’t react, right, because that’s we’re in a big state of reaction right now. They don’t react, they stay objective, they’re able to stay present.

And so that’s what ThetaHealing does for people and that’s why I chose it and that’s what makes it so different and that’s what allows me to have faith. Yeah, and allows me to stay, you know, on track. You know what scheduling, to do a podcast during this time… that’s staying on track.

Katerina: So it’s been about 14 years now. Yeah, you’ve been operating this new business and what was the most difficult times during the past 14 years?

Brenda: Well, I think during this, you know, again I brought I had a very traumatic thing happened like during, you know when I had the sales company. And the same thing happened with this. I actually had a near-death experience. During this time, or it was almost I think that… that’s why I’m able to handle this time, so well because that one was, I had to stay home and at that time I was a little ever-ready bunny. You know I wasn’t a human being… I was a human doing. I was, you know, networking, and on the Internet, because the Internet you know and I was talking to people and I was having clients and I was doing Skype at that time and doing phone and having in-person and just go go go go go and teaching because I’m also an instructor for ThetaHealing and teaching classes, and I had a busted appendix for three days, and I didn’t know it at first and I thought I had the stomach virus. I’ve a really high tolerance for pain.

And, you know, and most people don’t recover. Most people don’t recover from a burst appendix… it’s pretty serious. And it was pretty much a six-month recovery for me now because of ThetaHealing, I was able to speed it up because most people take 18 to 24 months to recover from a burst appendix… If they lived. And so, you know, I had to slow it down. I had to sleep a lot. I had to take care of myself. And I had to not work, I did stay connected to people. I did work with people, but not to the extent that I had before, and I was looking a lot at myself because it was very painful. It was, you know, looking at my non-forgiveness, looking at my trauma. These are… these are things that I know that works, and even, and having to go to wound care because when you have a burst appendix they don’t just seal you back up. It’s not like you’re just recovering from a scar on your abdomen. It’s that they have to leave the wound, open, and you have to go to wound care three times a week, and you have a machine that you carry around with you and you’re connected, talk about attachment.

So I was looking at all of that and I just had so much pain over all of it I cried, almost every day. I just kept looking at things that I needed to change. And one of the biggest “Aha” that I had at this moment and that moment was the first week, I literally was in so much pain when I would have to go to wound care because the nerve endings were exposed, and you’re having this sponge, that’s connected to this machine that’s going in and out, they have to change, they have to clean the wound and change out the sponge. And it was. I can’t even describe the amount of pain that it was. And, it was exhausting. And I was on pain medication, and it was exhausting. And I remember that you know like it used to take me like two hours to get ready to go to wound care and then I started getting quicker, like I was moving like a snail which, again, I wasn’t used to that it caused a lot of pain because I was just so used to always being so busy. And I realised every morning as I was waiting for my mom to come to pick me up to take me to wound care, right, that I would replay how I went into the emergency room, what I could have done differently, like how I could have avoided it happening the way that it did. Yet I did every as I went to the doctor, I mean, I went, it was just, I didn’t have any of the typical symptoms. So it was really hard for anybody to diagnose.

Katerina: It’s because you were too busy with your business and that’s why you didn’t pay attention to your body.

Brenda: Well, and I have a high tolerance for pain, I just thought it was a virus. I mean honestly and now when I look back going, Oh, you know. But the thing that really I sat there and my sister had told me. You’re going to be dependent on somebody to drag you as long as you’re on pain medication. So, when, as you know as quickly as it’s easily possible for you to get off of it you need to do that so that you can get some of your independence back. And I was like, Okay. And I remember I was just, you know, once again, playing that video in my mind that’s the deal we all have so many regrets. And when we have to sit still we play them in our mind. Yeah, and I just realised that I hadn’t forgiven myself. For this happening. So when in ThetaHealing, it is a very deep and complete way to do forgiveness.

Katerina: So you were blaming yourself for a burst appendix. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Brenda: But that’s what most people do whether or not they realise it, whenever we have done something wrong, whether it was our fault or not, we still blame ourselves even like in our childhood, if somebody was abusive to us, it had to have been our fault, right. So we always, I mean it’s human, it’s human nature we just blame ourselves, right? And so I realised that I had non-forgiveness for myself and, and God, like I believe in God right so whoever you believe in I’m not trying to you know I’m not… I’m not.. I’m not hitting the Bible here or anything I’m just saying I believe in God that’s… who I pray to whoever you believe in, it’s great.

ThetaHealing will still work for you whether or not you believe it God, it doesn’t matter. And I just forgave myself and I forgave God. And I went to. I went to wound care that day and felt no pain. And they were looking at me like, are you Okay, is everything, Okay and I was like yeah No, I’m fine. And I was really… my mind and non-forgiveness that I had that was perpetuating the pain, right? So it’s not just physical pain but we’re talking about anything. And so when I switched it not in my mind but in on a cellular level with ThetaHealing. It just changed. And I didn’t feel the pain anymore, which was… It made my recovery it made me not having to sleep as much. It made it just made it I was able to, to feel better because I was just exhausted I was exhausted from the pain. Yeah. And so, you know, I, it just made me so aware of how much non-forgiveness and regret hold us back. It made me so aware of how traumas, right, and those are relative, it can be something like that the whole world would view as horrific, or it can just be how you view something that’s horrific it doesn’t matter, those really they mess up our mind they, you know, make us foggy, they overwhelm us right?

So our tipping point, it’s already really high. And then something happens. Not that the quarantine is something small, it’s huge what’s going on right but it just sets us in a spiral. So, you know, and as an entrepreneur, we are a business. So when we can heal ourselves. And not that you have to do it yourself right because as an entrepreneur, especially in the beginning, we’re all doing a lot ourselves. So when we can be supported in that way it really unfolds. And the biggest thing that I noticed for myself is that whenever I looked at my beliefs my trauma, my non-forgiveness. Whenever I went to a retreat that allowed me to express my emotion, right. I always started making more money.

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: And you know, again, if I’ve only been like a self, you know, an entrepreneur for two years, but this is what I’ve discovered after 28 years going into 29, you know because you see that the hills and the valleys you see the ups and the downs, and we start to see like, you know, the repeating patterns right maybe healing is really good with repeating patterns we get to a certain age where we’re like, okay, the common denominator and all of this is me. And I need to look at that, but it doesn’t have to be hard, it can be really easy. with ThetaHealing it’s very quick. So that’s why I created the programme Shatter Your Income Ceiling because it’s in everything that we do. Right, because most people either want to look at their time, their weight or their money. Yes, but whenever we work on any of those three effects and everything. So that’s, you know, and I quote Suzanne Evans because I love she says “Money’s not the most important thing, but it touches, everything that is”

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: So in the beginning what I find one of the biggest mistakes that entrepreneurs make is they you know they don’t put a stake in the ground, they don’t allow themselves to be all in. And so they’re treating it like a hobby. They’re not looking for a mentor or a coach or a consultant or a strategist. You know those are the types of investments, and again, listen to your intuition. Find out from other people, their experiences. And look at who you want to work with look at a group that you want to be in. Look at a support group that you want to be in, you know, those types of things. And don’t put yourself around, negative people.

Katerina: I agree with you, hundred per cent on this.

Brenda: Yeah. You know, because that’s the thing is that what I find is that people who are not. The world is our mirror. So people who are in a negative place, or who are questioning themselves. Always ask the person who’s going to be negative with them. Instead of asking the person who will be positive who will encourage them, right. So, you know, I’m going to be honest I come from a family of people who worked for the same company for 30-40 years. Right. My, my family, my parents, correlate self-employed as unemployed.

Katerina: Right.

Brenda: Right. And so, I don’t share with them, everything that I do, right… like my mom right now… she’s been redoing her closets and, you know, really getting organised and I’m like, I do that already. I said I’m working. She was like “Oh you are still working,” and I was like “Yeah, I’m still working,” you know, except that I’m working even more because there are opportunities that are coming up.

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: Like having a podcast with Katerina, right, being on camera that I’m going to take advantage of that. Maybe I wouldn’t have looked at, or thought necessary. Yeah. So it’s all part of the pivot.

Katerina: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Who’s the most supportive person in your life.

Brenda: My sister. I’m very blessed to have a sister, so it’s gonna make me kind of like almost probably a little teary-eyed, you know, they just said you can do it, you can do this, you can do anything. You’re so smart. You’re so, you know, creative, you’re so, you know, I mean she would always like, she would always encourage me, she would be like you got this. You know you have the skills, you’re very talented.

Katerina: But it’s important to have someone who believes in you.

Brenda: And you just need one person, right? You know the beautiful thing is now virtually that we can be in groups, you know. Like I was in a networking group… I did a virtual networking group with a group because I live in a different part of the country part of the year, right? I escape the heat of Texas… I live in Texas. So I usually leave for the summer for three to four months, because that’s how long it’s hot here. And so, I was in a virtual group and everybody was like they’re all self-employed and they’re all acting like victims. Whereas each one of them… I could have told them…. In fact, I kind of did at the end to be honest I just said, you know… There was like Feng shui person saying “Well, everybody’s hoarding right now.”

Now, some people are hoarding toilet paper right now, but I know everybody’s doing is they’re decluttering. They’re making space right if you have time that’s what a lot of people are doing. Like right now I kiddingly say this is the cleanest my mom’s house has ever been because she finally asked to stay home. I got a little caught by my little ever ready bunny… I don’t do that any more but when I was younger I came by it… honestly because I was raised by little ever ready buddy right? So she’s… you know… can’t go to the senior centre and she can’t go to all her classes that she does and everything. So now she’ll stay home and clean her house, and it’s really clean and doing extra things like in her yard… and she’s you know looking at things and she’s looking at decluttering… and she’s looking at all of that and you know so it’s taking advantage of the time that we have. And pivoting and figuring out what it is that we want to do.

This is a beautiful time to step back, right? It’s what we’ve all done in the last few weeks it’s to step back and say “Okay how do I want to move forward.” What do I need to do? Is this an opportunity for it to be a win-win in gaining more clients? Is it an opportunity for me to maintain the clients that I have now and look at getting another skill, connecting with another group, creating more opportunities because they’re there I mean there are so many things going on virtually, you know, but even like just him being in that group I just looked at everybody and went oh my gosh they’re so negative?

And this was a holistic group that I was going, um, you know, and I just pointed out to them, and then was like “Oh my goodness” like I was deeply disturbed the next day you know… I had to like work on myself because I was just like “Oh my gosh” and I… and I said “People are in pain. People need support.

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: Integrative healing, holistic healing, you know, healers. I said they need you… show up for them. Figure out how you can help them. And that’s not just with them that’s what anybody. What are you doing right now, that can help anybody that you can be of service. Because it’s possible… I mean no you cannot cut anybody’s hair, right? But … you can make a video showing people how to do a simple trim.

Katerina: Yeah, or show some hairstyles. Yeah.

Brenda: Absolutely. You can become an affiliate for tools that people can use at home, you know I mean these I granted yes it’s not. But you just never know. And by doing things like this. I’m, you know what I’m thinking. And again I don’t wish this, this quarantine I don’t wish it on my worst enemy right? I mean… this is not what I would imagine, but it sure is making everybody pause. And there are things again that you could put in place foundationally. Maybe you’ve been in a rut, maybe you’ve been doing the business the same yes that some of these things that you could do that are opportunities now can allow you to upscale… and do it even better but it wouldn’t have been possible, had you not slowed down.

Katerina: Yeah, so people need to use this time to reflect and pivot and think strategically where else they can be and treat this as an opportunity. Turn threats into an opportunity.

Brenda: So, um, you know, I think that… that’s the thing that happens when we treat our business like a hobby is that people will easily give up. Yeah, but when you treat it like your company, your business…. then you have to figure it out. And then you look for solutions. I mean, I often say that my creativity, has… has always shown up as problem-solving. I’m not an artist… I’m not a musician, I mean I love to dance but I’m not, you know, I’m not an amateur dancer or anything like that. My outlet comes from problem-solving. And that’s what I feel like that is needed. At any time, if anybody has any, you know, a speck of creativity applied towards problem-solving right now.

Katerina: Yeah. Have you ever thought of quitting?

Brenda: [pause] I’ve taken breaks. I have stepped back, I took a break. With my sales company I actually almost took a year off. I had two deaths, my father and a woman who was like a second mother to me happened within thirty days and I didn’t have the tools that I have now. I was in my mid-30s and again, you know I had my friends. I even had, you know, several friends who were like “Just get over it, Brenda. Snap out of it.” Grief is grief, right? If you deny it, it can cause you… you know, physical issues, and it can cause a lot of turmoil. So I just stepped back and what was really interesting is I didn’t like the direction that my sales company was taking, and in taking that year off… when I went back to work.. I did it completely differently. And that was what got me to seven figures that you know making that decision. So there’s nothing wrong with self-care. I mean if that’s what you know I don’t want people to feel like that I’m saying, you know, you have to problem-solve and you have to pivot and you have to do it this minute, you know, if you need some time off… take a step back, nurture yourself, see what needs to happen, because that also will affect your business and can increase your sales rights? … your income. By doing that as well.

But only you know what it is that you need to do. In this one… you know… having a near-death experience, and it has knocked me down for six months, you know. Again, don’t be like me, don’t have to have these major horrific things that personally happened to you. Yes, the quarantine, the coronavirus is personal, but it’s not right… so unless you have somebody you know you… you know that, like. I don’t have anybody… I feel very blessed… going to knock on wood somewhere right… that I don’t personally know anybody that is suffering from coronavirus right now. So I feel very blessed in that. So, this is all just kind of, you know, like very like I don’t even know, like, not, I don’t want to say surreal, but it’s not affecting me, like, in that way. Now. Not being able to see friends once a week for lunch… you know, I am missing like Indian food Ethiopian food that’s… you know… I’m missing all my Ethiopian food, my Mexican food… I am missing all my ethnicity right now. You know… yes and I could take them to go but part of it is… is that I love it, because you know when I’m working from home and virtually I like to go out and see somebody physically. So I get, you know like, I’m not seeing my friends right now. Right, I’m not… I’m not able to go to a movie if I want to go to a movie right now, you know, there are different things that I’m not able to do. But in, you know, those are little things that we can work around you know being physical, you know, not able right like when I had the near-death and in recovery physically not being able to do anything.

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: That was hard because I was younger and I didn’t understand the benefit of being present and stepping back and slowing down. But I do now. And so, you know, if anything for some of us in quarantine… If we’re willing to do that, you’ll see the benefit of it, when this is all done. So it’s taking the advantage either to do self-care or to plant seeds or to keep… you know like… I had people who paid me, you know, last week, I actually, I had my best week of the year, last week. You know, and it’s so… it’s not you know it. I … because I don’t buy in that I can’t make money… again in a win-win situation, I’m not at the expense of anybody else type thing. It’s like, you can still make money at this time. And again, it’s not in desperation or it’s not in its hands it just is because this is how I already had my business set up.

Katerina: Yeah

Brenda: To follow up with people, to know who my market is to reach out to people, even if it’s just to check in. Yeah. You know, it’s staying in touch with people. That’s important. And that’s the beautiful thing about these video calls you know zoom… I love Zoom, Zoom was a game-changer for me when they came about, you know what we could do. So I think it’s unfortunate that they’re having these, you know, people who are coming on that aren’t invited to be sent off.

Katerina: I think they are more secure now.

Brenda: Exactly, exactly.

Katerina: It’s fascinating and then subsequent fascinating what you’re saying so I guess after your you near-death experience, you don’t have any fears, do you?

Brenda: No. You know, you know, I think… when I was 35 like I said my dad passed away and then a woman passed away, and the two things. You know 30 days later, the two things that I felt like… these two… because they both died young. I felt like the two of them had in common was that I felt like that they died with regret. And I made a decision that I would not, I would not live a life with regret.

So whenever I look at something it’s like will I regret doing this, or will I regret not doing that. I’m not, you know, that was really the biggest thing that came. And so there are little things right that we have fears of, there are big things that we have fear of. But I think that once you know… I’ve gone through a divorce. Right, so… death, divorce, near death, you know, death, divorce and then loss, like those are the top three stressors, I’ve really been through them in my life. This is, like, I can, you know, I’ve overcome all of those right. It’s not enough to just be a survivor, it’s something that we need to overcome. We have to look at what is this doing to us now. And are we feeling victimised by it right?

Because we don’t want to be victims. We cant help it how we were raised, things we’ve overcome…we are victims and survivors. So, it’s switching that and ThetaHealing does that… and it just allows things to really, again, pivot without you having to do a lot of effort. That’s the beautiful thing. When you choose the right again it’s like anything. Choose the right Theta healer for you, choose the right… you know, the right mentor for you, choose the right coach consultant or strategist for you. Do your research. If you don’t trust your choices and that’s something else that needs to be worked on right?

We all make mistakes as entrepreneurs, you will make mistakes. Some will cost you money, some will cost you time. Some will cost you, happiness, so to speak, but you can always overcome that. Everything is temporary. We have choices on what we want to be permanent. And what we want to be consistent.

And that’s the big thing be consistent in what you do with your business whether you’re in quarantine or, you know, just on a regular basis. I think that that’s one of the things that I didn’t understand from my first business going into my second business is consistency. And again, if being inconsistent means you’re having to start over again. And that’s, you know, so, you know, again that’s with anything that we do because our lives support our businesses. So we have to look at it from every angle. Some people, again, you know, often say, if being an entrepreneur was easy, everybody would do it.

Katerina: Yeah.

Brenda: I have a friend who says, If you want to know what you still need to work on —  get a new relationship right start a relationship. I say if you want to know what you need to work on — start a new business. Be self-employed because I promise you, your stuff is going to come up and you can choose whether to, you know, you can make it hard. I like for people to work with me so I can make it easy, right, so that they can get through this. And anything. I mean this is just another hiccup in your journey as an entrepreneur.

Katerina: What advice would you give to female intrapreneurs who started their businesses or maybe they still kind of thinking of starting a business but they’re afraid? Or maybe they’ve already started the business and kind of want to give up on their dream. What would you say to them?

Brenda: Be resilient, right? Shift what you need to shift in order to be willing to put, you know, but you know be committed to it. When we feel like that we want to give up, we have to decide, are committed or not, and then get support from the people who will support us and being committed. So if you want to give up, then go hang out with your negative Nellies right? If you want to continue to put a support system in place… know that you can do this. If you want that it’s possible. So believe, believe in yourself, believe that it is possible… Maybe you just need to do a tweak right for it to be more successful.

But people are not willing to invest more in you than you’re willing to invest in yourself and your business. So we do have to pay people at times. So, maybe it’s that we get a little, you know, in the beginning, have a little side hustle, right? A little part-time mindless job that, allows us to not have as I mean, again, we’re not talking about during quarantine right? But in an ideal time right. That allows us to keep some money flowing in. So the money that we’re making from our business we can invest back in.

Katerina: Yeah, right.

Brenda: So it’s either save up enough be strategic in where you put your money. Forgive yourself if you make a mistake. And then move on. And know that, you know, again, with ThetaHealing, we make sure that people don’t make the same mistakes, we can… you know like I set up a session I do like an initial session where I can help people like just blanket overall, not even if it’s it doesn’t have to be about money right but to where I can work with anybody in any area and we have a specific way that we do it but it’s also to be able to know. Just because you, you know, make a mistake, doesn’t mean you have to repeat it, right?

We make mistakes, and we want to set it up to where we learn from them. analyse it step back, what would I do differently. How can I, you know, recover from this. And be realistic. And you know what, I love the Bach flower remedies, you know, and I love rescue remedy. So if you’re feeling some anxiety. Take some rescue remedy, take some magnesium, you know, those types of things really are good, that will allow you, you know, breathe. Maybe I mean we have so many things available for free right now, you know look at meditation. You know, start off your morning every day doing that with meditation. That allows you to be calm. Well, you need to do it more than once during the day right depending on the day.

Katerina: What’s your view about taking, you know, on taking meditation? Do you think it’s a good idea for people to take medication or maybe they should try natural remedies first? I’ve spoken to several entrepreneurs and some of them believe that sometimes it is necessary to take medication to help them go through the whole process while doing other things on the side. But other people just believe that you should just try natural things and it’s all in your mind really and medication won’t help. What’s your view on this?

Brenda: Well, I find it really anxiety comes from people’s unresolved traumas. Again and, I mean, how I work with ThetaHealing is I will resolve a trauma like that. And that’s what I really love about it. And so what I feel like with people is like their traumas and their non-forgiveness, and especially of self. Again, lowering the tipping point is causing anxiety to happen very easily. So, I kept.. my family has a medical background that’s the… it’s the… it’s the community I was raised in… So, to speak, that’s why I’m not on any medication. But I found other tools.

So, maybe it’s that you get on medication prescribed with the intention that you’re going to find something that can help you just as well right? Or maybe you want to not get on medication and find something natural that can help you just as well. I mean, Google has an amazing thing… you have lots of options. I have to me… I know personally, I don’t really do medication, and, you know, unless I have to, but you know again if you have an infection, you know, gotta have an antibiotic because, you know, that type of thing. And then I make sure that my probiotics are on point right after that right? And, you know, but, but the thing is is that you have to do what’s best for you. So, if you feel like that you need to get on anxiety medication that.. I support you with that. If you feel like that you want to find an alternative — I support you in that. Do what you feel like it’s best for yourself, and that you feel like that you can handle it. I’m not going to say one is better…. I mean, again, we know that any prescriptions are hard, you know there’s a lot of side effects.

Katerina: Yes, right.

Brenda: So, if you want to do it temporarily, do it temporarily. Um, I have a very, you know, close friend who has been on anxiety medication on and off through most of her adult life. But she’s been off of it for a very long time because she’s found other ways, it was never her intention to stay on it forever. So, you know, I mean, and, but if you’re feeling, you know, incapacitated or suicidal then by all means, talk to a professional.

Katerina: Yeah

Brenda: Do what you need to do. And don’t do anything that adds any more stress until you have figured out that piece. Right… a lot of times, like we don’t understand how much anxiety we feel until we do something like a relationship or a business or, you know, all of that. And then we kind of go oh, I need to address this. But I just, you know, however, it is that people feel like that they can best support themselves. We’re all human, and we’re all just doing the best we can. Right, right?

Katerina: That’s right, yeah. I mean it’s a difficult time with coronavirus and then a lot of people on social media… I mean they share this negativity and they, you know, spreading this fear and different people get affected differently and they get more anxious because they see all these messages. So, what would you advise to someone who, who wanted to start a business and then this whole COVID-19 situation is going to start unfolding? Today is it a good time to start another… working on another business because a lot of people kind of have this wait and see sort of strategy because no one really knows how long this is all gonna be right? Maybe… the end of summer, you know… they were saying it’s the end of April. Now they say, maybe… it’s for another couple of months. And people just kind of thing, you know, should I wait, or should I start working on another business. What’s your view on this?

Brenda: I think it depends on what it is that they want to do right? I’ve been rebranding. And I’m in the midst of it, and the coronavirus isn’t going to change that. I’m still working on it. I’m still looking at that I’m still paying a lot of money to work with a coach and a strategist at this point, it’s like you know it’s not me going “Oh my gosh, you know, during this time, how could I have done this, it’s like, I know that.. this is for you”. No. I know it’ll be okay. And it is what it is. So I just keep doing it so you can wait and see. And I also think that this might be pointing out to you whether or not this is for you right? I always say, being an entrepreneur is not for the faint at heart. And we get tested a lot throughout our careers 20 years I’m going to tell you I’ve been tested and I’m on the other side of the test. Here’s another test as well.

But because of the other tests that I’ve had, there were some really big ones. This one doesn’t feel as big right now for me. Not that it’s not big or I don’t want to discount it in any way. So, you have to decide. Can the business that you have now be pivoted a bit or restructured a bit to where it can continue and have longevity even through this time. Is this something new that you need to look at, is there an opportunity that’s coming up for you as a result of this, that can, you know, I mean, there are opportunities that are arising for all of us. During this time, if we’re looking for them. Right, so it’s deciding whether or not you have it. And maybe it’s not the right time for you. Maybe you’re like me like I did when you know my father passed away and then my second mother passed away. I needed to step back and decide whether or not, because I got I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to continue. That was one of the things that I was thinking about, and then I came up with a plan to do it differently.

So it’s really up to you know to y’all it’s up to you whether or not you want to start, or not. But the one thing that I would say is, make a decision and have peace with it, right. So, there, you’ll get no judgement for me, if you decided not to do it or to do it. Just as like what, you know, if you decided to get prescription or if you decide to go natural, you’ll, you’ll, there’s no judgement from me on that, that make a decision and stand by it.

Katerina: Yeah. And think are you gonna regret if you don’t do it. Yeah?

Brenda: Absolutely.

Katerina: Will I regret doing this, or will I regret not doing this.

Brenda: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So you know I know for me, I would have regretted not continuing being self-employed, being an entrepreneur, having that freedom. Yeah. So, for sure. I hope I’ve answered all the questions.

Katerina: No, that’s a fantastic interview… thank you so much..

Brenda: You know Katarina, one thing that I did create to be able to support people if they’re interested, is I made like a little meditation that would allow people to stay, you know, centred.

Katerina: Yeah. Could we have a link to it.

Brenda: Absolutely. It’s Shatter Your Income Ceiling. If you go to www. because I just set that up for everybody just to be able to have it. So if you go to www.shatteryourincomeceiling.com. You know, it will come to the page and you’ll be able to know immediately download.

Katerina: We will also have ave this link in the show notes for everyone… for all the listeners to check out.

Brenda: It’s a one-minute meditation that I’m really encouraging people to do it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, it’s one minute, but I promise if you will be consistent and do it — you’ll see a difference.

Katerina: That’s great. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you, Brenda. Thank you, and good luck with everything.

Brenda: Yeah. Thank you, you too Katerina, this has been, I think that this is such an, I love the topic of your podcasts, and I think it’s so important, because it’s, it’s not easy at times for us.

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